


A Boy Named Aegon Jaehaerys Targaryen

by LostMyWit



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Father-Son Relationship, Humor, Jon Snow is a Targaryen, Liberal use of the word fuck, Minor Lyanna Stark/Rhaegar Targaryen, One Shot, Other, R Plus L Equals J, References to Johnny Cash, Rhaegar Lives, Targ names are dumb, and J isn’t happy about that, and it derivatives, “A Boy Named Sue” But with Jon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 23:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15084398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostMyWit/pseuds/LostMyWit
Summary: So I was listening to “A Boy Named Sue” by Johnny Cash, and I always hate targ names in modern settings, so... I couldn’t help myself. Enjoy!





	A Boy Named Aegon Jaehaerys Targaryen

Jon hated his father. He _really fucking hated him_.

And the list of reasons was pretty long.

The first and most obvious reason was that he had knocked up and abandoned him mother as a teenager, but she had gotten over the resentment and raised him just fine, so he felt a little guilty complaining about something she just wanted to leave behind her.

The next reason was his face. Jon had been cursed and/or blessed with what could only be called a pretty boy face. From kindergarten up, he’d been made fun of for looking like a girl. He didn’t have any problems with being feminine, but it was damn annoying. It also came with the side effect of other guys wanting to un-pretty his face, or assuming he would steal their girls, so he had gotten in a lot of fights as a kid. And a teen. And a young adult.

But the real kicker, the coup de grace, was his name. Not Jon, that was a nickname he’d picked up in high school. No, his real name was absolutely terrible.

Aegon Jaehaerys Targaryen.

It seemed his deadbeat sire had stayed around just long enough to put that absurdly long, absurdly spelled, _absurd_ name on his birth certificate, thus subjecting Jon to a lifetime of laughter and reticule from every kid who heard it on a role call, or government official that saw his birth certificate.

It had been so bad, he had joined the army, hoping that it would be able to give him a stronger air of masculinity. It had completely slipped his mind what the drill sergeants would make of his name. They had had a _fucking field day_ when his name got called.

So, yeah. Jon didn’t like his dad.

  
He was walking down a muddy street on a July evening, in Gatlinburg to visit an old friend. He had some time to kill, so he decided to drop into a local saloon for a beer.

And the first thing he saw, dealing cards at a table, was Rhaegar _fucking_ Targaryen.

Jon had never met him, but his mother had had a picture, and silver hair and purple eyes were hard to miss.

Jon felt his blood run cold has walked up to the table, and leaned over into that mangy dog’s prettyboy face.

“You Rhaegar Targaryen?” He asked.

His father’s eyes narrowed. “Who wants to know?”

Jon grabbed him by the collar and pulled him out of his chair. “Aegon. Jaehaerys. Targ- _fucking_ -aryen, you son of a bitch!”

Jon threw a punch, hitting Rhaegar hard between the eyes, knocking him to the ground. Jon stood over him proudly for moment, but Rhaegar was up quick as a flash, pulling out a knife and slashing Jon’s ear.

In retaliation, Jon picked up a chair and swung it hard, breaking it across Rhaegar’s perfect fucking teeth. They traded more blows, and before Jon knew it, they had rolled outside, and he was kicking and biting and gouging in the muddy street, fighting the first fucker he’d ever met as tough as him.

He finally broke away for a second, and he saw Rhaegar going for a pistol, but Jon was quicker on the draw.

Then the damndest thing happened. Rhaegar _fucking_ smiled.

“I guess you really are my son.”

Jon must’ve looked as confused as he felt.

Rhaegar just kept smiling. “Son, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay with your mother. And I knew that life was going to be tough for you, so I gave you a piece of me, a name that has been in my family for years, so that I could be with you in spirit, even if not in flesh.”

Jon smiled. Then he shot him.

“OWWW!” Rhaegar yelled as he clutched his foot. “What the _fuck_ was that for!?”

“A lifetime of missed child support payments,” Jon deadpanned as he put he his gun back in his pocket. “Don’t be such a baby, it was just a toe.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written because I was bored. Will get back to the AriJon stuff soon.


End file.
